Selfish

Selfish

 

It is strange how everything has fallen apart within me.

I have become so helpless that tears stream down my cheeks at their own accord and stop without my wish.

How I desire I would overlook what others think of me and of my actions and then, I feel like crying again because tears fail in my quest of being selfish.

I don’t know where to stop and when to start.

I don’t understand what to do.

I crave for everything and do nothing to have something.

I sit here and there, trying to sort myself and end up messing it all over again.

Life seems so easy, yet it has become difficult to breathe.

I am here one moment and I am there, the next.

I am she and I was her.

Hope creeps in and glides out.

It fails to show me its house.

I forget what I had set out to do.

Idling over stones and scraps of paper, I refuse to admit that I know what happened to you.

Sometimes I sit and wonder – look at them and ponder.

Once I had it all and never cared to care.

I lost it after second chances – not realizing I was losing it all.

Now I look at them and cry.
I see them laugh and remember what we were and wonder we could be.

I wonder if you look my way – once in a while..

 

A/N – I think this came out as a mixture of prose and poetry. Don’t ask Dee what this is. She doesn’t know it too. Well, when does she? 😛

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